MIXING STRONG AND WEAK

Martini Glass (Wikimedia)

I used to like a dry martini. The trouble was that they did not like me. It was hardly ever just one – but two or sometimes three. They would then send me to sleep and I would wake up at three o’clock in the morning, often with my heart beating too fast. Despite owning some Waterford Crystal martini glasses I effectively gave them up by the simply expedient of not buying the Vermouth which I would use to make the drink they are named after. 

With gin so with vodka, except more so. I like an alcoholic drink that has a stop mechanism in it. So I tend to drink whisky or, occasionally, brandy rather than clear spirits. You can sip some and then it is natural to stop, whereas with clear spirits like vodka, gin and ‘white’ rum like Bacardi, you tend to continue drinking until you realise you have had too much, by which time it is a bit late to stop (although I do).

 

Do not get me wrong. I have always said that I hope to drink champagne on the day I die so that I can toast a life well-lived. In fact, I will drink almost anything alcoholic, although I do not care for cream liqueurs like Baileys Irish Cream. This is because of the cream and not the whisky or other spirit it is mixed with. I am not that keen on retsina, the sour Greek wine, but I dare say I could develop a taste for it if I had to and there was no alternative available.

 

Alcohol is my drug of choice. I come from a non-smoking background and, apart from the odd cigar, I have never bothered with it much. Likewise, I do not do drugs, not out of principle but more from cowardice. If I want to relax with something it has to be legal: I am that boring, I am afraid, although I think that the government’s attitude to drugs is little short of absurd and they are missing out on valuable tax revenues by criminalising drugs.

 

There are three types of substance we can put into our bodies which I shall call black, white and grey. Black substances like cyanide and strychnine are obviously dangerous and have to be prohibited or at least controlled very tightly. White ones are nutritious and, unless mixed with black, are harmless – food and water, basically, necessary for life but not particularly exciting in themselves. You can consume these to your heart’s content with fell ill-effects.

 

Then there are grey ones, which make life more interesting (worth living for some) but are not necessary for survival. I would put alcohol, tobacco and drugs in this category but also caffeine drinks like tea and coffee which are unnecessary for survival but give us a kick start now and again. Widen this category and you can include birth control pills, hand guns, even pornography, all involving products we do not need but enjoy for the pleasure they provide.

 

The trouble is that pleasurable products are addictive. We find it hard to srvive without the high given by a simple glass of wine or a simple cup of coffee, even though we do not need them to survive. Some people cut all grey substances out of their lives. Mormons come to mind here: they do not consume alcohol or caffeine and, although they do have sex, it is largely for procreation so probably do not use the pill very much.

 

Now, it is perfectly possible to ruin your life with grey substances. Most of us have known alcoholics, those addicted to smoking or junkies who have died early because they cannot seem to shake off a dependency on the drugs they crave. However, I firmly believe that the fact that some people become addicts is not a reason to prevent people like me enjoying a glass of whisky, a cigar or even the occasional joint. We simply have to put their probably early deaths down to collateral damage and go on enjoying our grey substances.

 

That is why I am so firmly opposed to the smoking ban which the British government seems so keen to introduce, albeit surreptitiously by preventing people from buying cigarettes or other tobacco products if they are born after a certain year. This will have the effect of criminalising the shopkeeper who sells the tobacco rather than the purchaser, which is yet another burden on them and is surely another good reason to oppose the law.

 

If this anti-smoking law is passed, and not repealed by a future government, it will surely make it much harderto decriminalise soft (and eventually hard) drugs, which I think should be at the top of the agenda for the government. The authorities have no business banning the consumption of grey products in order to protect the vulnerable. I am enough of an individualist to think that these people have a responsibility to look after themselves. 

 

Plenty of people lead normal - or near normal - lives while consuming grey substances and should not be stopped from doing so because others destroy their lives. Michael Gove, not exactly known for his liberal attitude to drugs, has even admitted to taking cocaine after a drinking session in the last, yet this action was largely ignored by those who want to ban drugs. Do what I say not do what I do seems to be their attitude.

 

As my own contribution towards exercising restraint on grey substances, I have given up Martinis and now content myself with gin and tonics, mixing a strong drink with a weak non-alcoholic one. I also refrain from drinking twice a week and for the first two months of the year if only so I can free myself of the accusation of being an alcohol addict. I still enjoy a drink and hope to have one on the day I die – although I have no immediate plans for that.     

To read my thoughts on New Zealand's smoking 'ban' go here

My other blog is diaryofatouristguide.blogspot.com 

Edwin Lerner